"Grandma! Have you seen my bottle of pills? Its labeled LSD."
"Forget your pills! Have you seen that dragon in the kitchen!"
-Joke from a friend
"Wondering what you are thinking right now. Listening to the music at work and thinking about the universal commonness of so much human experience."
"At this exact moment, I am thinking of how butter melts on elbow noodles!"
-Conversation I had
"If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let 'em go, because, man, they're gone."
Deep Thoughts - Jack Handey